Before I could even start to write about what happened to me yesterday, I had to stare at an empty page for a while. Were there words that could even get close to describing the feelings I had? In the past few months I haven't been writing much because I felt like words just couldn't cover my experiences anymore. All of a sudden words seemed to be so limited, compared to the world of visions and feelings. When you wake up to what life actually is, words are just.. words. A way for us to try and express the things we're feeling and seeing - it's like trying to put a whole waterfall into one tiny drop. What I experienced yesterday was so beyond words (to me) that I'm not sure if I can describe it in a way that makes any sense to anyone who hasn't encountered something like this. But I'll try.
So, I was still in Glastonbury, having to deal with the red light on the dashboard of the camper. The day before, I had decided to let go of trying to fix the camper for a bit since I got too tired and overwhelmed. Sometimes you have to be okay yourself before you can go on fixing problems in the outside world. And that's where the solution appeared; Sanny had managed to find someone who could help me tow the van to Cornwall, so he could repare it for me there. Yeay! ♡
Having an unexpected extra day to spend in Glastonbury, I decided to go to Glastonbury Abbey. I hadn't been reading about it really, but I did read a few books about Avalon, which intrigued me. Everytime I read about it I could feel my soul whisper that I'd been there before, in some other life, it felt like the place was calling me to visit again. And so I went.
After having walked through the busy High street (where I felt happy and joyful, but also pretty normal) I set foot on Glastonbury Abbey. It started right after me going through the gate; I felt drawn to walk on a path on the side (that had dead ends on both sides, so people must have thought I was a bit crazy). My body started doing things by itself, and I knew somewhere deep down that I had walked here before. On this exact path. It was as if I could see double: on the one hand I had this sort of past life experience where I could see these walls and stones again, but through the eyes of my soul memories, and on the other hand.. I was still in the 21th century. I've had many 'new' experiences on my spiritual path, I've travelled through former lives in my minds eye, but this.. this was different. Having walked that little road up and down for about 10 times, I felt ready to move on. If I thought this was it I was mistaken.. the best was yet to come.
After having paid the admission fee there was a tiny garden with a little chapel, and another gate. First thing that happened was that I saw and smelled a rosemary, and I knew with conviction that I had been working with herbs in this place before. It was as if the rosemary reminded me of who I really was and am - of the woman that works and heals with nature. A few steps away there was a gate that would lead me to the gardens, and as soon as I saw the gate I knew that, once I would go through that gate, my life would be forever changed. I couldn't explain why I was so certain about this, I just knew that I had stumbled upon something that was deeply implemented in my memory. The thing was.. I couldn't even get close to see what was on the other side of that gate. In fact, I couldn't do a thing and had to sit down.
Spoiler alert: this is pretty much what I had to constantly do in the hours that followed. I had to sit down all the time because my legs were shaking and my knees were trembling. I'm not exaggerating here - my legs just didn't seem to work anymore. It just didn't necessarily feel like a bad thing. Finding myself going through that gate 10 minutes later, meant me returning to a place where I'd been before. A place where I'd been really happy. A place where I had been able to live my full potential, to be who I really am, to stand in my power. And after all the ages of suppression, witch burns, patriarchy and condemnation (as well as within and outside myself), well, it was quite something to return 'home'. In the next blog I'll share more about the insights I received in this place, in Avalon, a place where I felt like I was living in the past, the future and the present - all at the same time.
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