The camper. The camper I am traveling in is actually not mine, it's from a dear friend who was so incredibly generous to lend it to me. And it's not the first time he's done that - me and this friendly camper have already shared some adventures together. This is the biggest adventure so far. It's such a lovely campervan - small enough for me to drive it with confidence, but big enough to be comfortable in. And then the red light showed on my dashboard, on day two. So I ended up spending that day and almost the whole next day visiting and calling garages - unfortunately, they were all too busy to help me. One guy could find the time to find out what was wrong: a failing fuel injector, which can, if you keep driving, lead to an engine breakdown. And since I still had 3,5 hours to drive.. I needed to get it fixed. Problem was that first of all it would be very very expensive to get it done, and second of all England seems to be out of car mechanics who can find the time to do anything. Does this country need more car mechanics, or fewer cars, maybe?
After having spent the little energy I had left after all this traveling on trying to deal with this problem, I found that no one in the little village I was staying in was going to be able to help me out. So I decided to risk it and drive to Glastonbury. This little spiritual town had been calling me for years and I didn't actually plan on going there, but somehow I did. And there I ended up having my own little breakdown: things had just been way too much and I couldn't deal with a single thing anymore. So I decided not to. When I asked my intuïtion 'help, what do I do now?' I quickly received an answer: take care of yourself first, before taking care of the car. After having called my mom, who told me to take this as an opportunity, I felt ready to change the way I was experiencing all of this - to try and see it as a chance instead of a 'disaster' (which was, of course, what my limited mind was experiencing for a second). After having found myself a camp spot with a view on Glastonbury Tor, my feet walked me to the Chalice Well gardens; a living sanctuary and world piece garden, as they call it. When I entered I chatted with a woman who told me this garden was right on top of a leyline (the Mary line) and therefore full of potent feminine energy. Also, she looked at my necklace and told me it needed cleansing (which was probably true, since I'd been wearing it for self-confidence the past days). The only thing I felt was: Thank god. I've found a place where people speak my language.
Again I ended up finding a place that was full of healing energies. I had been dealing with a lot of pain in my body in the past days and weeks (years, really), but setting foot (barefoot of course!) in this garden made me realize this place was there to help me let go of all this pain. I felt myself grounding and calming down and was instantly being drawn to the Well Head and Sanctuary, as you can see below. It was as if the depths of the waters in this well reminded me of my own deep inner waters, my femininity, the deep knowing that I carry within me. I've been sitting at that well for almost an hour and I could just feel all the pressure I'd been putting on myself, all the pressure that society and patriarchy are putting on women, fade away. I felt our incredible craving for softness, for tenderness, for healing. I felt how we (not only women, but also men) are so very very hard on ourselves. It was as if I felt the true essence of the feminine: nurturing, caring, tender, soft, wise and boundless. And I felt how much I was, how much the world is, how much we all are in need of integrating the feminine back into ourselves, our lives, our societies, our systems. How much the world and all its people need to be balanced, after decades of suppression, hierarchy, striving, and well.. just patriarchy.
While I had been wandering around in this garden on my bare feet, unreachable to the world by having turned my phone off, Sanny had come up with the idea to tow the camper to Cornwall so he could fix it there. After having spent so much energy trying to deal with this myself (and absolutely not knowing how to do that), I was more than happy to hear that a solution had been found - one that included me being able to stay one more day in this place that I had found to be paradise.
Glastonbury did something to me. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere, I had this deep feeling of coming home. Home to a place where I'd never been in this life. I started to have the feeling that this journey wasn't just about me driving down to Cornwall, instead I started to feel like I was on some sort of pilgrimage - retracing my steps. I've done a lot of soul healing, which included past-life work. Especially in the past few months, I had learned that I have had many lives in Cornwall, that these places that made me feel so at home were familiar to my soul. But I'd never paid special attention to Glastonbury, until now.
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